In one way or the other
I am always tied up.
My mind is tied up by my body.
My life is tied up by my destiny.
And all of them
Are tied up by all types of norms.
But as my body stops to run,
My mind starts to dance.
From the window of the locked room,
My spirit starts to fly.
with the expectation of getting tied up by the Shibari master, I went to Shibari Open Session. I told the master Davide that I prefer more warmth and less pain.
Although he suggested that I cover my eyes with a blindfold, I preferred to watch freely and shut my eyes whenever I want to.
Davide was sitting at my back. The whole world fell into silence when he started.
The rope slowly slipped through my neck. I could feel the rough surface of the rope. It was tightened and choked me a little, but I felt safe.
The rope went through my chest and arms. I looked into the mirror and saw myself got both my arms tied at my back,I liked the way I look.
I took a look at the audience and straightened up my back. I closed my eyes and could feel the rope turning over and over around my arms and beatifull knots were being tied one by one.
My body started to shake slightly following the change of positions, which reminded me of the feeling of sitting on a boat following the motion of waves.
The rope went through my belly like a snake and suddenly got tightened. I felt the sharp pain and groaned a little.
I was pulled from my back to his chest. I heard his breath went in and out slowly over and over beside my ears.
The pain was relieved together with all my past stress as I tried to follow his breath.
I began to feel nervous when I was pushed to the ground. I looked back and noticed a sling went down from the ceiling.
The rope went through my left leg. Davide was trying to suspend my leg to the ceiling.
Actually, he was trying to suspend my whole body through my leg. "No…Not this time..." I thought.
A flash of pain went through my thigh as the ring through my leg was pulled up high. I became a bit scared.
I tried to put up my leg straight into the air following the position of the rope. My leg went perpendicular to the ground. "I hope that's it." I thought.
Davide tightened a ring of rope around my big toe. I had never got my toe tied before. My toe tingled and I got even more nervous. I thought I might get a spasm.
He tried to get another ring of rope around my knee so he could use that to pull up my leg further.
I didn't think it was a good idea. A sudden thought went through my mind: “I need to show him it wouldn’t balance.” I started to go against him.
I tilted my leg and that ring felt off. Davide kept trying to pull up that rope, so my leg went up further.
To maintain balance and minimize the stress on my leg, I started to stand on my shoulder in the way I learnt from Yoga.
Davide must had noticed that I didn't want to go any further. He put me back to the ground
My legs were tied up in a crossed position. And my head was gently pulled to my legs. That made me feel safe again.
I closed my eyes. He pulled me to the ground and pulled me back to his chest. That was warm.
I laid myself back to the waves in the darkness. He pulled my hair once but that didn’t hurt.
I began to feel peaceful. I forgot who I was. And I forgot who he was.
I tried to follow the speed of his breath. I felt that we were just part of the universe.
The rope was gradually taken off. The rope went off my belly, my chest and my arms. Finally, it was all off.
I laid between his elbows holding the rope between my hands. With my eyes closed, I was surrounded by his warmth. I felt like falling into a dream and waking up at the same time.
At the end, we hugged, and I said: "Thank you."
Davide commented that it would be better if I got the blindfold on, so there would be no expectations for me. And there would be no distractions because I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror.
I agreed that might be a completely different experience. But, after thinking about it over and over after that event, I realized that for me, putting the blindfold on meant paying a lot of trust.
I could be accepting things that are unpleasant or even scary sometimes. Not everyone knows how I would feel at every moment, including myself.
Sometimes even a pleasant experience with a blindfold on could make me feel depressive as I think about it afterwards.
If I could keep an eye on that, I would feel much safer by staying consent whenever I want to.
Maybe one day, I can do it once more with a blindfold on. Maybe that would require more mutual familiarity and understanding between the two.
It was an unforgettable experience. I felt thankful to Davide for his patience and warmth.
I felt the intimacy between us within that moment, and it has nothing to do with erotics.
It was like a dance between two. It required two people keeping on the same steps and sharing the same emotion.
Once that balance is reached, it would be just beautiful.
Giving and receiving. Connection and understanding.
It was a type of love that could happen between all human beings.
And I would always remember feeling that type of love as I felt his warmth and breath with my arms tied and my eyes closed.
Davide described the art of rope as a cocktail mixed with some emotions (or emotional connections), some erotics and some BDSM(which I would prefer to name as "pleasant pains").
Everyone was free to choose their favorite types of cocktails. I saw this as a poetic expression.
From my perspective, connection was the best part of all. The pains are part of the connection, and the connection is what makes the pains worthy and beautiful.
It is just like a cup of expresso. Once you fall in love with that fragrance, you fall in love with the whole coffee, including that inseparable bitter taste.
As I recalled, “Davide” was an Italian name which belonged to a male rope artist with brown hair on his head, brown beard on his face and a string of rope, which was also kind of brown, in his hand.
在我记忆中， “Davide” 是个意大利名。这个名字的主人是一个绳师。他头顶棕发，面生棕须，连手中握着的绳也带了些棕褐色
Although I have never been to Italy. As far as I heard, it is a country of romance, which reminds me of streets with small red houses on the sides，and colourful flowers blooming beside the windows of those houses.
The streets are immersed in the fragrance of flowers, sunshine, coffee and fresh cheese.
That type of romance should be different from the romance of Paris, which reminds me of the smell of handmade perfumes. Italy is much closer to nature. Nature brings freedom.